After Graduating

I continued to share my stories with people through different writing groups, learning new tips and techniques to help elevate my writing. I had reached out to a few well-known authors and conversed with them about writing and what it was like being a published author. I received so many great advice from so many talented writers. I was able to use everything I learnt through them to advance my writing techniques even more.

however, helping my mother with my sister had become my top priority. Caring for and tending to others was something I knew how to do, (as much as I hate to admit this) it was something I was good at. That is what I did. My mother would take the day shift, and I would take the night shift. Tag teaming my sister's care.

We fell into a rhythm, this set up had caused me to lose what little friends I did have. As time went on, it became more challenging to find a social life, it was no fault of my parents, it was just an unfortunate situation. I eventually found solace through online media. Chatrooms, video games, and the likes. This had become my access to the outside world. I was constantly online, spending hours in chatrooms (when it was down time for my sister) talking to anyone I could, even seeking romantic relationship (back then, this was a dangerous method of finding relationships).

I started to feel trapped and alone. Even more so when I isolated myself from my parents. I acted out in rage, and frustration. I began feeling trapped and depressed. I didn't want this life, I felt I deserved more. I remember looking at my sister with anger, and with a snap of a finger, those thoughts and feelings I had were gone.

If anyone had a right to feel trapped and depressed, it was my sister. It was my mother. It was all those at the hospital. I still had a chance at life because I was young and capable. However, they didn't get that chance, and they never will. They were trapped both mentally and physically. What right did I have to compare what I was feeling to what they were going through? It took longer than it should have for me to have had this epiphany I'll admit, but as they say better late than never.

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